Horizons

"I wasn't looking at the horizon. I know that it's all around me, but I wasn't looking at it."...."But two days ago, I got used to looking into the distance. And I saw that besides tables, chairs and objects, my world also included the mountains, clouds, the sky. And my soul - my soul seems to have eyes that is uses to touch those things."

The Valkyries (Paulo Coelho)

"But you are forcing me to look at wealth and at horizons I have never know. Now that I have seen them, and now that I see how immense my possibilities are, I'm going to feel worse than I did before you arrived. Because I know the things I should be able to accomplish, and I don't want to do so."

The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)

This would have started a good ramble about the limitlessness of our horizons and where they can lead us, should we be aware enough to look outward. It would also have touched on how realisation of the limits we impose on ourselves can occur when we take our hands away from our eyes. The pleasure and overwhelming limitless is at once awe inspiring and frightening.

But now that all seems trite for a topic that sprun to mind as I noticed the beauty of winter in the warm rays enriching the Brisbane city-scape one afternoon. The same afternoon I had one of those moments when you dissasociate from consciousness and realise - I am an ant.

You have to look no further than those quotes above to get a good idea of what I would have said anyway. Instead I'm going to recount some reflections on others journeys - small stories of others horizons and how they have stared at them and expanded their souls.

Bronwyn

When I think of liberation of the soul, I think of Bronwyn, and in particular her recent journey overseas (http://butty22.blogspot.com/). When I think of a slogan for her I also think "just do it". Uncertain that her job was giving her fulfilment, she didn't just keep on thinking what could be, but thought -what next! I admire her so much for taking leaps and bounds where I would fear to take the first tentative step across the line from comfort to uncertainty - to the horizon and all it holds. Her driving force is not comfort and complacency but discovery and compassion....oh and a good shot of demestos to clear the way forward ;-). This gloved crusador, for all things experiential, gives me hope that one day I'll remove the shield of fear and go forth and conquer those ambitions - one Machu Pichu at a time.

Roya

When I think of altruism I think of the elder sister of our refugee family. Roya is the "hostess with the mostest". She cooks, cleans and struggles to keep her orphaned teenage/early adult siblings living together harmoniously as they struggle against her seemingly 'imposed' authority. Every Wednesday Roya and her family greet us with open arms and bottomless cups of spiced tea as we attempt to offer whatever feeble english tuition we can give - usually in the form of 'conversational' english! Every Wednesday they thank us profusely and we leave (stomach's moaning and bladder's bloated) overwhelmed by their fortitude and our own easy fortune. Their gratitude for something we take for granted is so moving and humbling, and their belief in the rewarding horizons so encouraging.

Roya who realises so well the situation at hand, yet is so powerless to stop her family breaking apart thinks her engagment will be the salve that is needed to heal wounds. She thinks nothing of herself, nor her happiness but of her family and their needs. I was moved to tears, when she was talking about her engagement and her response to my question of whether she loved her husband-to-be " .....no....but he's a good man.. I think".

If I think my horizons are limited by fear, I think of the actual adversity this family has seen and endured and yet continues to look outward and ever forward with keen eyes and feverent hearts. They believe in Australia, the land and the people, as just and fair. Persecution has not stopped now they are here, but it takes another more insidious, unaccountable form. Yet still they believe in the prospect of golden soil and wealth for toil, in the home of the young and free.

Personally, I take great stock not only from these people, but from all my friends, family and whomever I have shared, even fleetingly, a connection. I see in others what I yearn for myself and thereby adopt parts of all these connections into who I am and want to be. Nature vs Nurture doesn't begin and end in the womb, that's for sure! I often marvel at how little 'me' there is in myself. I am so much a collection of others, good and bad. Like my hair colour, which I have tried to so vainly to disguise for so many years, do I really remember anymore what is natural, intrinsictly me? But that's for another 'non-rambling' blog :-) ...

Anyway, nothing warms my heart more than new perspectives and random bursts of totally truthful moments. The smile from an unexpected source, the handmade card from an overworked colleague, the small yet natural conversation with a stranger, the discovery of knowledge you thought was beyond your emulsified memories, the stirring of the desire for neural wealth, the softness and warmth of the setting sun on a winter's day, the opportunities we can only chance upon and never properly express, and the joy of our natural world - life being lived all around me, interconnecting with me and continuing without me - for me to observe and enjoy and contribute to.

"The wise men understood that this natural world is only an image and a copy of paradise. The existence of this world is simply a guarantee that there exists a world that is perfect. God created the world so that, through its visible objects, men could understand his spiritual teachings and marvel of his wisdom."
The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)